What Has Happened

            What has happened? Why are you so fat? It’s a question I have asked myself on more than one occasion. I look in the mirror after a shower when fat, flab, and other things aren’t covered by some well placed clothing items and then I do what most other red-blooded Americans do, I eat some more. And then on some Monday I make a change. And at the beginning of a New Year, there are a lot of changes for a lot of people.

            January through March is when you “make hay”, as papaw used to say, at a church. People look at the state of their life and decide to go back to church. If you do a good job as the church and the person is sincere, you can win them; to your church and to Christ. The gym is always full. When my good friend, Tommy, and I used to work out together, January was the worst. You couldn’t move for all the people. While I was at the gym this morning, I almost took a picture of the free-weight area because for almost an entire minute, there was no one there. That’s a rare find in January!

            But back to the original question and the situations mentioned above, what brings us to this moment? Usually reflection (literal reflection, if the mirror illustration struck a chord). We reflect on how we look or feel physically and decide to make a change. We reflect on how we are doing spiritually and decide to make a change. But I have a question for you. Don’t bug out yet, please give me a chance to make a case. When was the last time you reflected, with the intent of change, on your most important relationship? Your marriage.

            Ruh-roh-Raggy! As a pastor I get the privilege of spending time helping married couples through tough times. Many times, the husband or the wife has been unfaithful and it almost never fails, the person that has been the victim begins to go over all the things they could have done different! Pay close attention to the next part or you will just be mad by the end of this. There is NO excuse for someone stepping out of their marriage. NONE! Not one excuse! But don’t disregard shortcomings on your part either. One of the biggest dangers is that victims stay victims and don’t change. They’re so offended that they become blind to what needs to change in their own lives.

            DNA, bad diet, laziness, and stress are just a few factors that increase our risk of heart problems. And just as you don’t want to be in a hospital fighting for your life before you make some changes, you shouldn’t wait till you’re sitting in a pastor, friend, or counselor’s office before you pay attention to your spouse. Listen to him. Pay attention to her. What are they saying? Where are their weaknesses? What are their strength’s? How are you helping and serving?

            So let me ask you this? Is there something lacking in your marriage that your husband or wife would feel they need to step out of the marriage to get? Encouragement, a patient, sympathetic ear, sex, love, optimism, patience, respect, faith in their ability? The list can literally go on and on. I know, I know, you’re busy, you’re tired, and that list can go on and on but come on now, did you or did you not accept the vows of a husband. Did you make promises of the kind of wife you would be? Our world is becoming more and more selfish. Serve me. Listen to me. Me first. Take care of me. And sadly, some marriages become that way also. It’s just that we are little passive aggressive when it comes to this in marriage. Don’t believe me? Answer the following questions for yourself:

• Is there enough evidence that I am serving my spouse?
• Am I the most encouraging person in my spouse’s life?
• Does my spouse hear about the good things in my life or just my complaints about where he/she falls short?
• Is there enough evidence that my spouse is the most important relationship in my life (after Jesus if you’re a Jesus lover)?
• Is my spouse satisfied sexually?
• When I think about the time when we got married compared to now… have I changed for the better?

There’s more but I know we’re at that point where you may stop reading. Bottom line. If you don’t know the answers to these questions, ask your spouse. Sit down first. Don’t get mad. These are just some of the responsibilities we accepted on our wedding day. If the answers don’t make you smile, wait for it, CHANGE!

            If your house was on fire and you were at risk of losing everything, would you be too tired, too stressed, too busy, to get up and save as much as you could? Of course not! You wouldn’t stop to think about yourself for even a second. My house is burning and I need to save it. Well, if you can’t smile after asking yourself these questions, there may be smoke in your house. Find it and fix the problem.

            It’s a New Year. Lots of changes for lots of people! Don’t neglect those closest to you. They’ve been there for a while so it gets easy to overlook them. And speaking of changes, how about this little dude? He’s perfect. And he’s a great example that fat rolls can be beautiful!!!!

Have a great week,

Pastor Dad