The Pain is Real

I have hurt my children… on purpose! And I hope they hurt theirs the same way!

 It’s true. Not only have I hurt them, worse than that, I have assisted complete strangers in causing them pain on multiple occasions. It wasn’t easy but it was necessary! During the few times it has happened, some of you will be surprised to know that, Tammy stood by and allowed it. She couldn’t participate but she was there. Sometimes she went out of the room crying because her babies were crying but she allowed it. Because she knew it was necessary! Let me tell you about one such occasion.

When Jordan was little we had an old solid wood dining table and chairs. The chairs were straight backed, nothing fancy, but heavy. Jordan hadn’t been walking long but he had moved on to advanced climbing. And since we didn’t have a climbing wall with safety harnesses and all, he started climbing the back of one of those heavy chairs. As he neared the top, he began to giggle, realizing that this was his time and others should partake in his accomplishment. Smiling like a mountain climber arriving at the summit of Everest he reached for the top rail. This is when I began to take notice (I know, bad parenting). I was making my move toward him as he was pulling on that top rail to complete the journey. His little body combined with the perfect chair angle allowing climbers to get to the top was just enough to start the topple. I have to be honest, for a moment his smile was resilient! He smiled right up to the 45 degree angle point and then it was a scream as I watched him slam onto the floor and this gargantuan chair fall on top of him striking him squarely in the face. Bottom line, his chin caught most of the weight and his skin wrapped tightly around that bone wasn’t nearly as resilient as his smile and it laid open to reveal some nasty blood and flesh.

We took him to a clinic where I held him while a stranger first gave him several shots to dull the hurt which we all know is pretty bad on its own. I held him down and allowed this stranger to inflict intense pain and all the while he was crying and no matter what I said he didn’t understand that this was for his benefit. Six little stitches later we were on our way home!

Let’s recap. He was hurt. Tammy and I scooped him up and “loved on him” while we traveled to the Dr. Office. At that point we had a decision to make. Either inflict more pain to assist in the healing or leave him in that state, knowing that infection was a real possibility and scarring was a definite.

We chose pain but he wouldn’t have. Because he was hurting too bad to see past the moment. And honestly even saying it out loud without prior knowledge of the procedure does seem kind of silly. “I am going to take your wound, inject immensely painful fluid into it, and then I am going to pull both sides of it while stitching it like a zipper. It will cause pain. It will cause more blood. It may cause it to hurt a little while longer. But it’s better for your future.” That’s ridiculous!

We chose pain for now so he wouldn’t hurt in the future. We chose to make a scar instead of allowing a scar to form on its own! We chose what was best in the place of what was easy.

Here’s something to meditate on. The only reason we chose what we did was because we had seen it work so many times before. You treat hurt to make it better.

Are you hurting today? Be honest. Names you’ve been called in the past or maybe still being called them. Were you betrayed and now you can’t seem to build and hold any type of meaningful relationship? Are you hurting still and you’re tired of it? As a parent of small child I was able to step in and make decisions for their physical body. Kelcey never wanted an IV when we took her to Children’s Hospital to get tubes put in her ears. I held her down and forced her to face that hurt. But you’re a big grown up and I have no authority over your life, physically, emotionally, or spiritually!

But if I did, I would hold you down and give your soul the stitches of forgiveness! I would hold you while God did surgery on your heart. While he injected His perfect love it would hurt. You know why? Because you don’t deserve it and you know that! When you first accept his forgiveness it hurts because you feel so bad. I would hold you while he opened every wound, brought it back to your memory, and began to cover it with your forgiveness the same way he covered you with his. I would allow that hurt right now because I know that it will prevent infection and will allow the Father to make the scar.

You see, God doesn’t say you’re not hurting, he just says that you don’t have to forever. Forgiveness is like alcohol on a wound. It burns for a minute and simultaneously begins healing all the tissue it touches. Forgiveness does hurt our emotions because instinctively we want revenge and we want to exact punishment. And forgiveness makes us think someone is getting away with something.

I look at forgiveness this way. I have too much going on to hold everyone accountable for how they make me feel. So when someone makes me feel bad, sad, or even causes me pain, I choose to forgive. Infection is dangerous and scars can be ugly. For me, I have a wife, a grandson, a son, a daughter and son-in-law and many more that I am trying to help lead into a thriving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I would never want my grandson to hurt for years because he didn’t know how to forgive or didn’t understand the importance. So, if I have the opportunity to be around when he is hurting, I am going to teach him how to forgive. I love him too much to not.

And I love you too much also. If you’re hurting, I have the healing! If you’re hurting, will you please try it? There is not greater feeling than letting go of hurt. Forgive. Try it. See what happens in your relationships! See what happens in your spirit!

Pastor Dad