This is me _ updated

I wrote this 6 years ago. It was pretty awesome to read and see how my life has changed. I have gone back and updated and put the updates in a different color. But before anything else, you need to see the coolest update in my world!

            
I am 47 years old. I am 6’1” tall and weigh 205lbs. I am a Pastor of an awesome church in Maryville, TN. It isn’t awesome because I’m the Pastor; it’s awesome because of the awesome people that go there. Pretty awesome, huh?

            I want so badly to serve Jesus with everything in me. It isn’t blind faith or one-sided love but a decision I made several years ago to follow His teachings that have made me a better man. As I have read and studied the Bible, I feel the Holy Spirit attempting to guide my life. I say attempting because I don’t always listen. I want to make a splash for Jesus. Whatever and wherever that means, I want to do it. 

            I am in love with a crazy redhead. Tammy is beautiful, smart, fiery, loving, mean, sweet, and incredibly sensitive. People, she is a crybaby. I mean she cries telling stories that have nothing to do with her. Old people and babies are her favorite fuel for tears. That’s one of the reasons I love her so. She cares to a fault. And she’s a great mother and grandmother (Mimi). Our children would be so warped if I were all they had. Well, honestly, they’re warped anyway but she is great. And, she is a cool mom.

            My children are spoiled rotten. I wouldn’t have it any other way. My daughter, Kelcey, is 27, soon to be 28 and lives with her awesome husband Ryan and the perfect human, our grandson, Bryant. She is a Nuke Med Tech at Blount Memorial Hospital. She is gorgeous and athletic like her mother. Red hair like her mother. Smart, fiery, loving, mean, and sweet like her mother. Tammy and I talk often of how great she and her brother are and how we don’t deserve them.

            Jordan is 23 and lives at home with Tammy and me but is in the process of building a house for he and is fantastic fiancé, Hope!  He was more of an athlete at 14 than I have been my entire life. He is courteous, handsome, smart, talented, both sports and music, an incredible creator of custom furniture and very loyal (the loyalty comes from me). He plays the drums, guitar, and has taught himself the piano. He’s a pretty good one.

            I am myself. I used to not be myself. I used to be whatever I thought other people wanted me to be. I would reinvent myself with seemingly every conversation. That was tough and eventually caught up to me. Without the gory details, my sins were brought to the public forum and I was humiliated, not to mention those closest to me. When everybody knows your business there is no need to fake it anymore. 

            So I started a new journey about 17 years ago. This is me. If you don’t like me it will hurt me a little but I will get over it, and you, quickly. What I learned is that when everything is stripped away and it’s just you and God, or just you and your spouse, or parents, or kids, you have no reason to pretend anymore. 

            But that doesn’t mean that life ends there. On the contrary, it’s just the beginning. During that dark time I began to pray and I made the decision that the things I didn’t want people to know about me had to change and I would live my life as an open book to everyone around me. Some people are skeptical and don’t believe me but those that know me best know it’s true. What you see at a basketball game is the same person you see at church. Who you see interacting with people in public is the same person that you would see at my dinner table if you could ever catch me there. If I ignore you in public, it’s because I don’t see you. I have no grudges. There are people that I don’t particularly care for but I won’t ignore them. Who I am is more important than what I do. Who I am, determines what I do. 

            I am passionate. Passionate about God, my marriage, my children, my church, my law enforcement family, and just about anything else that I get involved with. I am as loyal as Tammy is sensitive; to a fault. I’ve had the same satellite service since it was PrimeStar. I had the same cell phone service from the 90’s till 2 years ago when I needed service overseas. Heck, I had the same hairstyle for 20 years (that’s sad I know but true). I don’t like confrontation but I’m not afraid of it either. I usually don’t handle it well. I’m honest. What I am working on now is finding a way to communicate how important who you are is. Trying to model first and then tell people that being a man/woman of God is so important, not only for today but for eternity. 

            I am demanding, a control freak, quick with the tongue, and sometimes hateful. Usually I am hateful when my expectations aren’t being met and then I just take over and usually have something smart to say in the process. Not good, I know, but I am working on that. (I am actually beginning to show more grace when my expectations aren't met. That doesn't mean I don't feel the anxiety but I have it more under control) I use to have a short fuse but life has added some length to it. 

            Not sure the purpose of this but it’s what I felt like doing today. As I end, here are some other things about me. I love sports (just about all REAL sports), I love all kinds of music, I love to read, I love alone time, I love time with friends, I like/love/despise/adore our stupid  mutt (German Shepherd, Taya), I love working outside, I love being a Pastor, I love being a chaplain, I love my 2003 green F-150(it currently needs a fuel pump and if I had time I would put a new one on it but it has fallen in the priority list), but really miss the 1993 Dodge Die-Nasty (Dynasty), I love technology but sometimes I hate it, I love Blount County but also like the thought of trying it somewhere else, I love being married, I love being a Dad, I love being a grandfather (Papa), I love how if you move people with a genuine life-story that those people can move mountains by working together. 

            So, I’m not perfect and neither are you. But, you can be a perfect representation of you. If there are things you don’t want people to know then change them. Don’t hide them. If you choose to hide them then you start living another life and that just takes away energy that you could be using for something good. In the bible Paul made this statement: “Imitate me as I imitate Christ”. I want to live that statement. But there is always work to do.

Pastor Dad