National Day of Women (aka Valentines)

            I am going to risk sounding like a 40-something year old man who has been married for over 22 years but hey, that’s what I am!

            I really don’t like Valentine’s Day. I don’t boycott it but I don’t enjoy the National Day of Women either. Not because I am rebellious or not crazy in love with my wife but I don’t like the idea that this is THE day that I am supposed to shower her with over priced flowers and/or candy!

            That’s all. I’m not gonna lose any sleep over it but that’s my humble thoughts and opinion. I wouldn’t advise any of the guys marching out of Kroger with their spoils of war in hand to say anything like that to their Valentine without a long hard thought out conversation first. That could end poorly for them. But here is my tribute to my Valentine (Which may mean that I have fallen victim to the day and am just too cheap to buy a gift…hmmm I may need to rethink my position)!

            Not that yours isn’t, but my wife is special. She is the most sensitive person I have ever known. She will cry at the drop of a hat and usually does. Not shut down all my emotions cry but touched in my heart cry. She cries at every sappy feel-good news story that comes on. She cries at cartoons that are sad, moving, inspiring, or happy. But she doesn’t just cry. She moves. She moves selflessly as much as I will let her.

            Erika Johnson spoke a couple of Sundays ago as we kicked off Mission Week at RIO 180 on her upcoming mission trip to Uganda. She had a goal of raising enough money to purchase water filters for two orphanages that she has worked with in the past and even adopted her son, Elijah, from. After church, still crying, Tammy walked up to me and said, “Buy me a water filter for Valentine’s Day!”

            I know what some of you guys are thinking, “No, don’t do it!” “It’s a set up!” “They never mean it!”

            I used to think that also. But after two decades of marriage I have learned that she really does mean it! I didn’t say, “Are you sure?” or any other clarifying statements. It was a simple “ok” from me and we did it.

            This is par for the course for her. If you have ever asked her for anything you know how she is. People that she doesn’t know get the same effort and same answer. She is a fixer, a lover, a hard worker to help people.

             She called me earlier, on Valentine’s Day, to tell me that she has given away the TV from our bedroom. Someone is collecting things for a family that recently had a fire, I think. I really don’t ask anymore. Someone will ask her where she got something and she starts the process of making it easy for them to get one too. They may not even want one but if they do, she will take care of it. She spoils our nieces and nephews as if they were our grandchildren. She would spoil them more but sometimes I have to explain to her that we still have to buy food and pay the mortgage. She bought 5 candy bars from a little girl at church, ate one and gave the rest away.

            Because she is so quiet not many people really know or even understand her. She gets her feelings hurt easily sometimes and I used to not understand. People could say the exact same thing to be and I would say something back (usually in Valentine’s Day spirit and tell them to kiss something), or lately, honestly, I just move on and forget about it. But I understand now. She cares waaaaaay to much to be around people like me.

            If you have a baby that needs held, you don’t even have to ask, just give it to her. She won’t ask anymore (feelings, remember). You need to find a purse, pair of shoes, hairstyle, car, house, school, or long lost cousin in Canada, just drop a hint to her and she will be on it. Between customers at work and all evening home with me she will search until Cousin Eddie is found and by gosh brought home to you safely!

            I can hear it now:

            Tammy: Honey what are you doing Friday?

            Me: Not sure what do you need?

Tammy: Could you drive to Toronto? Vickie, at work, really wants to see her cousin on Saturday and I found him. He can’t ride a bus because he has panic attacks in small places with lots of people and I knew you wouldn’t want me using your Sky miles to purchase him a plane ticket so I thought maybe if you didn’t have plans you could go or maybe wait till I get off and we can go.

Me: No.

Her: Please

Me: No

Her: But she really wants to see him.

Me: Baby it’s not your problem

Her: I just wanted to help.

Me: Sigh, loudly!

 

            Ok so maybe a little exaggeration (She really wouldn’t ask me to drive to Canada. Atlanta, yes, but not Canada!) but not much. I can write pages and pages of her willingness to step far away from the spotlight to get a job done. Her fighting back tears to smile at people who have hurt her and probably don’t even know it so as to keep peace. Her sacrificing her own wants and needs to provide something for someone else. And she will keep doing it. She’s not on a crusade of making a name for herself or any other accolade. I will get in enough trouble just writing this much. No, she simply can’t help it. She has a gift of service unlike anyone I know. She has never wanted to be seen but she has never wanted to stop working.

            She deserves more but if someone gave her more, she would just give it to someone else. She deserves more but she’s stuck with me. Instead of flowers or candy, a few beautiful little dark faced kids in Uganda will have clean drinking water. She may never meet them but God will be sure and let her know how proud He is of her. Her crown is going to be amazing. Mine, probably more like a headband!

 

Happy Women’s Day sweetheart! YOU! ARE! AWESOME!

Love you,

Pastor Dad