Old Friend

The names in the following account have been withheld to protect the innocent and the guilty.

I had breakfast with an old friend this morning. I haven’t talked to him in a very long time but I remember him. He was great. He was the most optimistic guy I have ever known. I mean, he was so positive he could make a death row inmate smile. He thought that God was the answer and everything else was just for show. He was a preacher and a good one. He spoke with passion, loved people, and had a knack for having the right word at the right time. I guess he was a better pastor than he was a preacher. People gravitated toward him like a nail to a magnate. Always smiling, always energetic, always positive. I cannot remember him expressing negative feelings. 

But he had a lot on his mind today. The ministry had taken its toll. Feeling the responsibility for so many people’s marriages, finances, children, and overall well being had jaded him more than I thought it would. He spoke of misunderstandings, how people had mistreated and talked about him, and how he was so tired of it. He said, “How could anybody think that I would give up a great job and great money, and do this for any reason but a calling and genuine love for people?” He was hurt. I just listened because I knew he knew scripture same as I did and that things probably weren’t as bad as he thought they were at this moment but he needed to get it out. He asked questions like, “Do people really think that I don’t care?” “I wonder how they would handle a calling that REQUIRED them from deep in their spirit to carry the burden of the church?” “You know, the church, that place that they see as just another service like their hairdresser, mechanic, tax preparer, or some other service that when they don’t like it they go out and find another one!” He was on a roll…

He used words like, tired, frustrated, fed up, give out. Words that scream, “I’m sick of living for others when they don’t seem to care!” Words that, when you dissect them and get to the root, say “I’m tired and don’t think I can take this much more.”

And I also know that the reason he came to me was because I understood and I knew he really didn’t want to quit but needed to say it to someone just to say it. After he finished with what seemed like an hour we just sat in silence. I could hear the pain in his voice. I also knew that he realized that he wasn’t perfect so I didn’t need to point that out to him. I saw the marks in his face. Wrinkles that serve as battle scars to a life of intense pressure. As I sat with him, hurting, crying, so unlike the man I once knew, I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t do this with just anyone but with him; yes.

I told him to remember two distinct scriptures that he and I had shared before. Daniel 3:18. After sharing with the King what their God was able to do, the three Hebrew children said, “But if not…” Whether God delivers us now or not we will serve Him and fulfill our calling.

The second was 1 Samuel 30:6 where David felt alone and defeated but yet from somewhere deep inside it says he, “encouraged himself in the Lord his God”.

I explained that his calling wasn’t to Pastor everyone but to Pastor everyone that came to him. And whether they stayed for life or just for a season his responsibility wasn’t to keep them happy or even keep them but to share God’s word and God’s love with them.

I waited for that magic moment when the angels would descend with lights and a choir and take away the gray in his hair and the wrinkles that had formed on his face. They didn’t come. No lights, no music, just silence. But the Holy Spirit had already begun to work. The smile was slowly returning as he looked like he was almost in a trance. Not speaking just remembering the person he used to be and realizing that the Holy Spirit could take him, not back to that point in his life but to a new place that was better.

He smiled the smile that I remembered. As we sat there enjoying the moment we knew that God was working. Successful Tuesday morning. A great way to start the day.

As he left he turned around and at that moment I knew he was back. All he said was, “Hey Brad, stop talking to yourself or people will think you’re crazy!”

He’s right! Have an awesome day!

Pastor Dad