He might be a little slow

I received an email that contained a list of “actual” statements found on employee evaluations. Now the rule to reading this is to fight the urge to place names of family, co-workers, friends, acquaintances, or any other person to the comments. That isn’t nice and you need to remember that someone is probably attaching your name to one as well.

Anyway, from a former supervisor that performed evaluations, these are hilarious:

• Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
• Works well when under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat.
• When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
• He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
• This young lady had delusions of adequacy.
• He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.
• This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
• He doesn’t have ulcers, but he is a carrier
• He’s been working with glue too much
• He brings a lot of joy when he leaves the room.
• If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.
• Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
• If you give him a penny for his thoughts, he’d give you change.
• The wheel is turning but the hamsters’ dead.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
• Some village somewhere is missing an idiot.

All the good advice in the world won’t help you if you never learn.

Charlie Brown was on the beach one-day building a magnificent sand castle. He was putting the finishing touches on the castle when a giant wave flooded over him and the castle. As Charlie Brown stood dripping with water looking at what was left of his sand castle, he said, “There must be a lesson here, but I don’t know what it is.” I so know how that feels. Not sure whether to laugh, scream, pray or cry… so I sometimes do all three!

We can all say that the best lessons we have ever learned were hard. They are the ones we remember. When the wave crashes your castle, look for the lesson. It may not be easy to start building again but if you learned anything from the first one, you learned that the waves come and go all the time. We just have to have a foundation that will stand.

Have an awesome day!

Pastor Dad