Friends

            We met sometime in 1990. We worked together; side by side. We golfed together, played basketball and softball together. I was in his wedding. My daughter thought he was the coolest person on the planet. He was a world-class clogger. I know, I didn’t realize there was such a thing either until I met him. We had so much in common and yet we were pretty different. He is a Duke fan, but I still love him.

            Our friendship was solid. We actually had a lot of the same characteristics. I never knew how solid the friendship was until years later. We didn’t work together anymore. We didn’t talk. Not because of anything specific, we just lost touch. I had just come through a personal hell of my own and was putting the pieces back together when he called.

            You will never know the value of a friendship till you need it. He thought he needed me but I needed him more. I was working at Panasonic when I got a phone call from this old friend. He started off the conversation pretty normal. “How are ya? How’s the family?” Then it changed. He said, “Brad, I need you.” I was pretty shaken by his tone but what he said next was clear.

            “They found a tumor, Brad, and they think its cancer.”

            I have no idea what I said next but one thing was for sure. He needed me and I intended to help. I went to where he was living and picked him up and we drove and talked. He wasn’t the mess I expected but he had the toughest questions I had ever answered in my life. “Why me? I wanted to have kids, Brad! What can I do?”

            This part I’m not proud of. My thoughts were this. I’m not a minister anymore. I’m a supervisor. I’m not a preacher, counselor, or anything else. God, why are you bringing this on me right now? Real solid friend, huh? I loved this guy and didn’t want to let him down so I did the best I could. I ended up praying with him that night and telling him that I would be there.

            His story is incredible and still being written. He had a tumor on his brain. After doctor appointments and consultations they decided to remove it but the risks were great. I remember being with him at UT hospital for surgery and then returning with my wife that night to visit with him again. I had warned her what he would look like. His head was swollen profusely. He couldn’t talk or even move one side for that matter. It was too much for her and she actually told him she loved him but had to go to the bathroom so she could wait outside.

            One of these days I hope he writes his story. I’m not doing it justice here. Fast forward to today. He is an usher and small group leader at our church. He is married to the lady that God created just for him and him for her. He has two, count’em, two awesome kids. God has truly preserved his life for His Kingdom and he is doing His work.

            But here is the part that I have never told anyone. Ruben James West saved me. During his tragedy I had some come-to-reality time. I had been feeling sorry for myself and feeling pretty unworthy of God or His blessing and guidance. I had failed God, my family, and my church miserably and was ready to move on to another life. That night after our now infamous car ride God spoke to me. He said, “I am not finished with you or Jamie yet”. I didn’t even have the faith to tell Jamie that because what if I was wrong.

            Several years later I look at my life and the key people along the way that have help mold me into what I am today. My wife, my parents and family, and a select few men and women that have always believed in me when I didn’t deserve it.

            I asked Ruben for permission to share part of his story. If you have time, ask him about his journey. It is incredible. Life changing. Inspirational.

            Jamie and Jessica West are dear friends. Their kids, Christina and Tyler, are awesome. I got to do Jamie and Jessica’s wedding. I still have a picture in my desk at my office to commemorate the occasion. Until now, they never knew the impact that Jamie’s cancer had on me and continues to. But now, you do to.

            You never know how God uses your situation to speak in this great world. But remember this. He is always speaking, moving, molding. You may never know what God has in store but you can look to his Word for answers.

            Jamie and Jessica, this is for you. Thank you. I love you both.

Romans 8:28 NLT ²⁸ And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Pastor Dad