The Parent Perspective

            When Jordan was in 6^th grade I was watching him play basketball for his school. I was getting increasingly frustrated with his effort and the results that came about because of his effort. As I sat in the bleachers, a lady that was sitting just a few seats away was staring my way. Now understand that I have tried not to embarrass my kids in public. Doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened but that isn’t how I try to do things. And this day was no different. I wasn't giving any indication that I was steamed. Anyway, this lady seems to be staring at me and I know better than anyone that there are a number of things better to stare at than me (the game perhaps). So I look her way and she asked me a question.

“You’re Jordan Bryant’s dad, aren’t you?” I’m thinking, “Finally”, someone else sees this atrocity taking place on the court. So I say reluctantly, “Yes ma’am” and await her opinion of the absolutely terrifying act that we are having to watch.

“I work at the school and I just wanted to say that your son is one of the most well mannered and courteous young man that I have seen at his age. I watched him the other day helping a special needs student get through the office door and just being so sweet to him. I’m sure you are proud.”

What a terrible thing to say! I mean, I’m already working up the post-game ride home speech and she brings me this? What a terrible person! I can’t believe my ears. I want to be… I need to tell him… I wish he could see what I… aw crap, who was I kidding? In that moment I received what I call a perspective changer. In that moment sports were placed in their proper place. In light of new information I could sit back and take some satisfaction that even though at the moment he wasn’t doing what I wanted him to, in life he was.

This isn’t about Jordan as much as it is about me; and you. Why do I have to have those moments before I put life in perspective? Why is it that after a national disaster that people will come together and pray no matter what their differences are but when things are ok those same people bicker and fight? Why do people call out to God when tragedy seems eminent but when the bills are paid and the family is healthy they would rather go to the lake than to His house?

Why is it when a child is abducted, killed, or mistreated all people want to do is “rush home and hug their kids”? Shouldn’t we be hugging them everyday anyway?

Listen, as a dad of a 21 year old and a 17 year old, let me tell you, they grow up quick. Treasure each moment and watch your tongue. You get this unique opportunity to mold a life. Set high standards and lead by example. Set high standards and push them to live up to them and when they fail, and they will, you should correct, encourage, inspire, and lead them to the next challenge. You aren’t perfect and they won’t be either but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t expect greatness!

Pay attention, this is big stuff we are talking about here. God entrusted you to mold a life. I know, I don’t understand it either, but he did. I am sure that there were better candidates but this is what life is right now.

If your child is a baby or toddler, spoil them with love. I don’t care how much you hold them. My wife says so often that she wishes she could go back to a time when our kids were babies so she could hold them and snuggle them again. Live in today while preparing for tomorrow. As your child grows set for them an example of what kind of person you want them to be. Become that person. You and your son or daughter will be better for it.

Another thought on that… Dads, your example shows your son how to live and treat people and shows your daughter what she should expect from men. Moms, your example shows your daughter how to live and treat people and shows your son how he should expect a woman to act.

Again, perspective. Does your kid have some “look” that you have? I mean that serious face or that funny laugh. Think about this. Did you tell them to do that or did they learn it by watching you?

“Hmmmmm, so what you’re saying is that they learn more by what they observe than by what I preach to them?”

Nope, I’m not saying anything. You’re smart enough to figure that out on your own. But if by chance you’re not that smart then YES THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING!

Just like I taught and still teach my kids about sports, also translates well to life. Attitude and effort are much more important than lip service and talent. Now, go hug a kid. If you don’t have one, just hug someone else’s. If you don’t know that someone else, run very fast after you hug their kid!

Pastor Dad